Broke for the holidays..

I love love love christmas!!
I love buying people that i love presents.. It is the greatest feeling to put a smile on someone's face by giving them something from the heart...
I usually spend a ridiculous amount on my family and my boyfriend..
This year I'll be lucky to buy them christmas cards.. I am absolutely broke.. work is not going as well as it use to. I use to pull at least 300 a weekend not i'm lucky to hit 150.
My car has 600 dollars worth of damage, and no one will help me with it.
Plus I just put out 445 for my rent...
I still need groceries, my medicine, and personal items...
oh yeah and GAS!!!
I really am dreading christmas day when i have nothing to give to anyone, and all the gifts i do get.. I'm returning for cash to pay my january rent and car damages... if i even get that much. I wish I was 21 so i could have a chance at winning the lottery! Or maybe just met a wealthy old man who gives money for just being such a sweet girl :) yeah i'm thinking crazy thoughts now!!!!
Honestly though, crazy is definitely allowed at this point..
well according to my mom it isn't and i'm in desparate need of a therapist which seems to be her answer to every problem that i have lately.

I was thinking though, i could sell some of my clothes and make some quick cash...
then again I heard drug dealers make good money lol
i promise that was a joke i'm completely against all kinds of drugs!!!

when that 18 wheeler knocked my mirror off i was praying to god he'd just hit my entire car so i could file a lawsuit against him lol but it was my fault and it was only my mirror. I also thought about getting a second job but then I would have to give up sleeping... can't do that either..
i just really don't want this christmas to be so bad..
hopefully the money at work starts rolling on in...